"Keep your head up. God gives his hardest
battles to his strongest soldiers"
"We are all fighting our own battels, just hope someone would understand mine sometimes"
Have way to many thoughts these days, hopefully it will all very son be over.
"Accepts your war, and win it!"
"We can breathe in space.
...they just don't want us to escape"
I have gotten a lot of questions lately about my dreams. "What's your dream?", "what your goal?". And I don't have any special wishes or goals. Of course I have some things that I sort of always have wanted to happen, but I don't feel like there is any purpose to plan everything. The last years I have noticed that my passions have grown stronger as I have grew older. And I am so happy that I have choose, what I feel, is the right path for me.
My wish right now, is to get him as a valentines date. Hope he will invite me or at least send me a text. But I don't know what will happen.
The world is a magical place, and you are a part of it all. But maybe out in the space it is a better place? We are not alone in this universe.
Hi, you remember that guy I have been talking about? The guy I have sent some texts with, but never meet after that amazing party night for some months ago. Anyways we have talked some and have planned to meet some time very soon. Right before Christmas he send me the cutest text asking me if I could find some time for him so we could meet up when the holidays were over and when we both where back in town. I answered him and said "yes, that would have been great:)".
On New Year's Eve I send him a texts wishing him a good new year and hoped he had a great celebration. But I never got any answer back. So now I am sitting here and don't know how to feel about it. As earlier mentioned I am not I love with him,but just the feeling that he does not reply stresses me a bit. And all he typical thoughts comes to my brain. "Dosesnt he like me anymore?", "have he found someone else?", "is he tired of me and him never meeting?", "have he something going on with somebody else?". I guess you get the picture... If he have found someone else I feel so happy for him, by all meens. But still, what now? What about me and us?
All I know is that the show must go on. And earlier he has always replied me as some point, even thought this is not the first time he has not been answering my texts. Just because he is so bad at replying, and he admit it himself as well as he has told me he is sorry multiple of times because of his late and sometimes non reply texts.
But I always get some text from him sometime, but not this time... I have said this soapy times before and every time he proofs me wrong. I hope he will text me soon again, bale wise he seems like a really nice guy. Bit as I said the show must go on. And my life is cutie a show, at least in my head. ;-)
Hope you all had a great New Year's Eve! I did not get any kiss and noon, hope you guys did. Specially from your beloved or secret one. No matter what happens, it can ways be better, always remember that!
"But in the end it was all worth it", she said to herself as she layd in bed. And she believed it. She was following her dreams and all thought it was overwhelming and way to much to do she knew that in the end everything would be okay.
She kept dreaming of the new year and all the opertunities that layd in it, just waiting for her. This year it was all about to change, she was moving to another country and the whole world layd in front of her feets.
A lot of things had turned her down, but every time she got up. Because the spark deep inside her never stopped shining. She was stronger than what she had assumed, she wouldn't let anything break her down for long periods of time. All the pain, work and thoughts was so hard. But she knew that in the end, it was all worth it.
Today in class our teacher told us to close our eyes and think about something wonderful. It should be a thought about anything as long as it was positive to you. In our minds everything is possible with imagination, she said! The first that entered my mind was the guy I have been texting a bit with lately. "Think about whatever you are thinking about so hard that it will fill your entire body!", my teacher said. And I did. I thought of me and him laying on the cauch cuddling, kissing and talking to each other. He held his arms around me and looked into my eyes and then he kissed me (in my thoughts of course...). My entire body just started reacting, my heart beated faster, my pulse was running faster and my whole body become warm. And it felt like my entire face was blushing.
He was the perfect guy. His brown eyes just looked at me and adored what they saw. His strong arms held around my waist and his lips was so soft and warm. His kiss felt like the most amazing thing in the world. In this class bit the inside of my cheeks trying not to smile. In my thoughts he was the perfect guy, because I created him the way I wanted him to be. All of a sudden he got up from the cauch grabbed my arm gently and led me into the bedroom. The light was turned off, the only thing making light was some candles he had turned on fire. It was the most romantic place. He lifter me up and carried me to the bed where he slowly putted me down. He layed himself on top of me and kissed me softly. Then he took of his shirt and mine. We both layed there feeling our skin against each other.
"Now open your eyes" said the teacher. Suddenly I was back I reality, in the boring, grey-looking classroom. I wished so bad that this was going to happening, but i grus sit dont. Just as the thought of it might never happen had hitted me i was thinking to myself; with a little effort and a lot of currage This might happen some day. It was such a magic moment in my everyday classroom.
"Dreams become true when they are turned into gols"
Maybe someday it might just happen;)
So guys, it's on again. I got a text from the boy who wanted to meet up yesterday. For the first weekend in a long time I was not out partying, and of course he was! I just wonder where it will all end. I am not in love with him, but the thought of meeting him is so exciting! I love to always have someone, boy(s), who sends me texts and care for me in some way, and as of now he is that one to me. So as always I have a plan, this time I have planned to invite him over. Not as in a date, but just if I get a text from him asking me if I am out I will say yes, even if I am not. I will go out and meet him, and the invite him to stay the night with me. You probably asking yourself why I did not invite him sooner and why I want him to sleep over if I am not interested in him. We, the reason why I have not asked him to stay over is because my roomies are home, but they will go home for Christmas next week and then I have my whole appartment to myself. So if he stays the night no one needs to know;) the reason for why I want him to spend the night when I am not interested is for fun. I am only young once (IOYO) haha! And why not have a little fun? I am pretty sure he is also just looking for some fun, but if he really is interested, then I will not play with him. To sum it all up, have some fun and don't worry so much about everything! I am excited!!
Over to something different, project of this week is have fun and be flirty.
Haters gonna hate and all that, but I want to have fun and when I am old I will not live with regrets of why I didn't take the chance while I had it.
Can't wait for the next text, even if it is me or him who sends it. Feel like it is my turn to text him first, so I probably will.
Now I am gonna dream about my life and sleep. Have a fantastic week everyone.
"Things doesn't get fun by themselves, you have to create the fun";-)
Just the way you held around me, tight. Your smell, look and loving words. This was really it I thought to myself, this was the moments I had been waiting for so long to happen. - just as the thought had hitted me I woke up from my dream. It was a strange dream where you was so sweet and kind towards me, just as I had imagined to myself.
But I woke up, and was a bit dissapointed that it was all just a dream, but on the other hand I was relived. I don't know what is was but this kind of wave of love had hitted me the last weeks. I want to feel loved and have fun with boys. I want someone to hold around me, watch movies with and just someone to lay in bed with all day. But the million dollar question was where to find him?
My search started... Eh well, everywhere!(?) I was kind of desperate, but not too desperate. Matter of fact I was kind of picki when it came to boys. I don't want a boyfriend because I have no time for that now, but just a boy to call, talk to and cuddle with. I miss having someone to hold around me and kiss me good night, and all my lately dreams was a reflection of that. The more I thought of wanting a "cuddle-guy" the more I started to make plans. And plans always needs a goal, right?
Therefore I have decided to do something about it. My plan is on.
And btw, that guy I have been planning to meet up with again, well we never can make it. Both of us is very bussy with school, and out life in general. But I know that one day we will meet and then I will just see what happens. I have small expectations for us, one of the reasons is me. I am just not as interested as I should be. Even thought the thought of meeting him is very tempting.
I guess I just am desperate for some action now a days. A quote once heard had been stuck with me theast years since I heard it. "Never regret or fear anything before you are in it". And that quoted is so true, just think about it. Things does not always turn out the way you might think. Often for the better!
Have a wonderful week everyone, and good luck with your manhunt;-)
"I am in an all white party wearing all black"
Back with some more gossip. He texted me Friday and Saturday. He wanted to hang out but it did not match our schedules neither of the days. We planned to meet next weekend, so I hope that will happen. It's nothing more special than that. So I uses it is not as fun gossip for you guys to know, but I just need to share it. Maybe I will be back next weekend with some more gossip, and I hope it is more interesting than some texts;)
Anyways, tomorrow is a new week, and is back on track with studying and late nights with books. I kind of like it, but at the same time I would like to just fool around on the internet and do whatever I want, when I want. But it's all getting me closer to the goal and my dream job in the furture.
I have decided to start with new a weekly project. So every week will be a theme week. My first one is to learn how to stand on your hands. Simple goal, but I will be able to do things with my body. So I will focus on body control this week. Remember, you don't need New Years to get a new start, all you need is Monday. And since there are ca 52 mondays in a year you can appomplish a lot in just a year. Why not start now?
"Yesterday you said tomorrow"!
"We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair"
- royals, lorde
Talk to you soon:)