lovecosmetics

Long time Since i have written something. When i look back at my
Previest writings i was so happy, and ful Of inspiration. But now i just felel empty.
A lot Of tings has been so difficult lately and i feel everything goes wrong.
I have screved up a lot Of things, without purpose and now it is time to fix them again.
The way back is very hard. I felel like i am on the bottom Of everything. Is it not my turn to make something
go my way. Where did all the inspiration go?

I do not Even know why i say this and i feel like i complain, but everything is just so hard right now.
I guess i have to sort Of pay for all the fun i have had.
Not all days are the same and this one has been an awful one.
I will say good Night now, and hope that tomorrow will be better.

"The best medisine is the Night between two days".
I guess i will learn from this hard times, all i need is a Great summer filled with a lot Of inspiration and laugther.
Is that to much to Ask for?
So please, just let this summer be amazing and things fixed.
All i know is to never give up, that will just make everything a lot worse.
Even when giving up is all i want right now.

I will be back, hopefully very soon, with fun writings and inspiration.
Just not today.

Always have something to look forward to.
Do something fun or/and exciting everyday.
Make everyday into something worth remember.
Fall madly in love, let loose and just deal with the mess when I happens.
Remember that everything happens for a reason, a bad happening might
Turn into something good and you might learn from it in the future.
We are all just humans, failing is a way of learing.
Never a failure, always a lesson💜

The last month as been crazy! As earlier mention I now live in another country on the other side of earth for 3 months, and I have promised myself to live it to the fullest. And I pretty much have kept that promise. Snoop dog and wiz kalifa is describing my life by the title of their song " young, wild and free"! Cause that is excactly what I am. 
A few week back I meet an American guy at a party, we where talking all that night, but nothin more happen. For a few days ago I got a message from him sayin that he wanted to meet up again. First I was thinking what if he is psyko? But then I desided to go and meet him, what was the worst that could happen? So I went and meet him, first we went out for dinner. We talked about all and everything and he came up with the idea of doing something fun and wild that night. Since this was on a Monday and I had school the next day it seemed like a pretty stupid, but yet fun idea. So in lack of any other ideas we decided to get drunk, really drunk.  So we started of with a couple of beers to the dinner and then went further to a bad ass crazy bar and drank a lot. We both got so wasted, and it was so much fun. I obviously  don't remember much, but I got some blurry pictures of me and him dancing on tables, kissing and laughing a lot. The night was so much fun, and I loved the feeling of being able to just get drunk and not care about anything on a fucking stupid Monday! In comparison to what I would have been doing home at that time probably watching tv or sleeping, this was life. Not that I want to get drunk everyday, but just be able to do things that I normally wouldn't do and be a bit crazy. Ahh, I love it! 

Well I loved it that night, until I woke up to the sound of my alarm the next daytelling me it's time for school. Hangover as hell I went to school. Sitting in a classroom with no other knowing what I have done was a quiet exciting feeling. I sat the acting normal and looking pretty normal I was laughing inside as small "video clips" of last night happenings entered my mind. "Out of crazy ideas comes good memories"! We both had so much fun and felt very badass. Now he is back in America, and I do t know if I will ever see him again, but I hope so. I got a message from him the day after out little partynight on Monday with the saying "such a crazy and fun night yesterday, you are not like anyone else I have ever met, in a good way though. I am sure our paths will meet again!". And that is the last thing I have heard from him since.  It's strange how we connected so well, so fast and even before the alcohol was starting to kick in. I guess moments like this is something that will change my life a bit in a good way. I have a great memory to look back on, and I often take myself of smiling when I think of what happen that night. It's not all about being drunk, but all that comes with the feeling of being alone  with a stranger, Learned so much about people and especially about myself. The feeling is indescribable, it just needs to be experienced. Meeting strangers and do crazy things, and be yourself totally, because the other person have no idea of how you really are, what kind of status and what kind of person you are in your gang. If you don't understand all the writing about an strange American guy, and getting drunk on a Monday all I can say is; try it for yourself. And I promise you that fucking Monday will be worth to remember. 

Here I am waiting, I?ll have to leave soon, why am I holdin? on
 We knew this day would come, we knew it all along
 How did it come so fast
 This is our last night, but it?s late and I?m tryin? not to sleep
 ?Cuz I know, when I wake I will have to slip away
 
And when the daylight comes I?ll have to go
 But, tonight I?m ?gonna hold you so close
 ?Cuz in the daylight, we?ll be on our own
 But, tonight I need to hold you so close
 
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
 Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
 
Here I am starring, at your perfection in my arms; so beautiful.
 The sky is getting bright, the stars are burnin? out.
 Somebody slow it down.
 This is way too hard, ?cuz I know when the sun comes up I will leave
 This is my last glance that will soon be memories
 
And when the daylight comes I?ll have to go
 But, tonight I?m ?gonna hold you so close
 ?Cuz in the daylight, we?ll be on our own
 But, tonight I need to hold you so close
 
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
 Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
 
I never wanted to stop, because I don?t want to start all over, start all over
 I was afraid of the dark, but now it?s all that I want, all that I want, all that I want
 
And when the daylight comes I?ll have to go
 But, tonight I?m ?gonna hold you so close
 ?Cuz in the daylight, we?ll be on our own
 But, tonight I need to hold you so close
 
And when the daylight comes I?ll have to go
 But, tonight I?m ?gonna hold you so close
 ?Cuz in the daylight, we?ll be on our own
 But, tonight I need to hold you so close
 
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
 Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
 Oh whoa, (yeah) oh whoa, (yeah) oh whoa (yeah) (yeah)
 Oh whoa, (yeah hey) oh whoa, (yeah hey) oh whoa

 

Pretty much whats dicribes my life at the moment.

I am crying so bad on the inside. Hope one day, maybe it is my turn tobe happy, and not loose the one i want...

 

-JM

"Because when you do something ordinairy, thats when you feel alive.

And thats when you realise howmuch more there is to see, do and experience in the world".

I want to be that kind of person people feel comfortable around, so they can relax with me and feel like wecan conect in a way that is different.

I want a boyfriend that is from another country than me. A guy i love so bad that it hurts only if he is going away for two minuits.

It is posible to change your life very much. I want to change my life, to something better.I want a wonderful life!!

 

Because things are possible! All that needs is a lot of work, time and a smile:)

 

"The expert in everything was once a beginner"

"Be so good, people cant ignore it"

 

Because sometimes what you wish for wouldt seem to happen. No matter what you do, no matter how much effort you put into something, it just dosent seem to happen or go anywhere. In the beginning i was so sure that this was going my way. I started picturing things in my head and I was thinking about how people would have reacted when it happen.But now all i can think of is that i blew it, i scewed it all up.

Its been a long and hard day. Maybe tomorrow will change something som i can achieve my wish?

And it's on! Tomorrow is another day with new opportunitys:)
I'll let you know how it goes;)

" never give up something you can't go a day without thinking about"

"be so good they can't ignore you"

Take a risk and take the fall.
If the risk it worth it all, it will also be worth a fall.
Great things dosent come easy.